Today after playing with her cousins, Sophie cried in the car because while she was there they made non-safe brownies, and everyone had some--except, of course, Sophie! Over the past few weeks, she has angrily asked, "Why do I have to have food allergies, anyway?" She will mournfully say, "I wish I could have some of that." Her feelings regarding food have clearly shifted from reluctant acceptance to sadness and anger, even grief.
After nearly 8 years of living with food allergies, is she just now grieving her loss? Does it take a child 8 years to realize the mark of food allergies? To see the separation and limitations caused by this, dare I say, disability?
And is it possible that everything I've done for her is not enough? The research, experimentation, recipes...doctor's visits, eliminating pets, foods? Is it truly possible that my years of depression about food were not enough to save Sophie from her own grief?